Things I have Learned Before I am even 25

  1. 1. Even though your parents had kids and a mortgage by now, it’s OK that you don’t. Because it actually is way harder for us to be grown-ups than our predecessors. Our median salaries are way lower and our student loans are way higher than previous generations. This whole delayed-adulthood thing has real roots. Look it up. Then stop beating yourself up.
  2. Someday, you’ll be glad you were poor. If you’re an artist in your 20s, chances are you’re totally broke. One day you’re on Broadway, the next day you’re babysitting. But knowing what it’s like to hustle, struggle, and live anxiously from paycheck to paycheck will make finally earning money all that much sweeter. I think that if all child stars were forced to work summers scooping ice cream they’d be way less likely to crash and burn.
  3. People will always hurt you. Your heart can heal. It may take a long time. It may hurt like hell. You may think you’re all better and then realize you still have a long way to go. But eventually, your heart will mend.
  4. You need to invest in your friendships the way you’d invest in romantic relationships. My best friend lived miles away from where I was in college and now lives in the middle of the country. She always makes it a point to connect and come see me if she’s traveling, and even when I was super broke, I made the bus ticket to visit her in her particular location a priority because our friendship is a major priority in my life. Your friendships may just be the greatest love stories of your life. Treat them with the same care and attention you would a romantic partner.
  5. People die. And it’s not fair. And it hurts. And life will never be the same. And all you can do is be thankful for the time you had and hold the ones you love dear.
  6. Listen to your body. Most of the time. If you’re hungry, eat something. If you’re tired, go to sleep. If your heart’s pounding, he’s worth talking to. But if you don’t feel like going to the gym, go anyway.
  7. It’s OK to be judgmental. It’s your body’s way of telling you what’s safe, what’s dangerous, who’s going to make your life better or worse. Make sure you keep an open mind, but once you’ve explored new ideas or people, it’s OK to make up your mind about them.
  8. Friends grow apart, and that’s OK. You’re going to change a lot in your 20s, so your friends might, too. Especially when it comes to drinking and drugs. Who you choose to surround yourself with is one of the most important factors in the trajectory of your life. Choose wisely.
  9. Fictional Characters Will Steal Your Heart. But they’re NOT REAL!!! It’s so hard not to fall in love with two-dimensional characters, but just keep reminding yourself, he’s not real, he’s not real, and he’s not real…
  10. People Who Are Older Than You Are Not Necessarily Smarter Than You. I used to think they were. Boy was I wrong. Sometimes your boss truly is an idiot. And you just have to deal with it.
  11. That Older Guy who wants you doesn’t think you’re Special. I was 22. He was 38. I thought he thought I was special, so age didn’t matter. Nope. Before me, he was with a 25 year old, and after me, a 20 year old. I wasn’t special. I was a part of his pattern.
  12. Get It In Writing. Always. Protect yourself.
  13. Internet Scams Are Real. And so is your self-loathing if you fall for one. Be paranoid. There are people out to get you.
  14. Family is everything. You can have real conversations with your aunts and uncles now. They’re pretty cool people.
  15. like what you like. I like 30 seconds to Mars. I like Nicki Minaj. If you don’t think that’s cool or indie enough, I really don’t care.
  16. Nobody Remembers That Embarrassing Thing You Did in 8th Grade. Sometimes I wince thinking about something dumb I did back in the day, and then I realize literally no one else on the planet is thinking about this. And then I think BUT OMG but what if they are??!? They aren’t.
  17. Follow Your Parents’ Advice. But Not All The Time. My parents are right about 98% of everything. But they wanted me to live with them, get a “real” job, and save up a lot of money before moving out of her house. But it is 2015. The economy is crap and nobody is hiring. If I’d waited to have the job or the money they’d wanted me to have, I’ll still be mooching at their house feeling terrible about myself.
  18. You Can Break A Bad Habit. I had a bad ice cream addiction. I convinced myself it wasn’t a big deal because it was my one vice. But after a trip to the dentist revealed two cavities and a $500 bill for this lady without dental insurance, I realized this habit was literally taking money out of my pocket. Guess who kicked her bad habit that very day?
  19. Somebody Wants Your Body. Every body type is somebody’s type. So love yourself and be prepared to be loved.
  20. You Don’t Have to Be Friends With Your Ex. You don’t even have to try. It’s really hard to do and most of the time it doesn’t work, so why bother? Save yourself another form of heartache and opt for a clean break.
  21. Always Be Reading. People who are constantly reading are the most interesting. Whether it’s the news, books, essays, or scientific studies, people want to talk to people who have stuff in their brains.
  22. Love isn’t enough. The Beatles straight up lied. John Mayer was right: “All you need is love is a lie.” You have to have the same values. You have to want the same things. Much more will matter in life…its not all about love as we were taught to believe.
  23. Just because someone doesn’t love you anymore doesn’t make them an asshole. In high school, if a guy dumped you, he was a total and unequivocal a-hole. But this is a pretty juvenile way to think. As I got older, wiser, and more mature, I realized that just because someone breaks up with you doesn’t mean they’re a jerk or that everything you thought was good about is suddenly nonexistent. Most of the time, people don’t mean to hurt one another. Most of the time, we’re all just doing the best we can. Getting dumped may bruise your ego, but it doesn’t mean you have to fling stones at someone else’s character.
  24. Failure is so necessary. I’ve been fired. I’ve been rejected by hundreds of agents, companies, and hiring managers. I’ve started projects that got no support at all and even never rose from the ground but I never gave up. . I’ve gotten knocked down over and over again, but I’ve always gotten back up. And every failure has made me stronger, smarter, and more focused. So fail, fall, and falter. Then get back up and try again.
  25. Closure is for college. In the real world, unless you work together, you’re never going to run in to someone you date at the library or the cafeteria, so people just disappear when they’re through with you. While this can hurt like hell, try to fast forward through all the frustration and over-analyzing to get to the brutal truth: you’re never really going to know what happened. Ever. The sooner you can accept that, the sooner you can move on.
  26. Only you know what’s best for you. Nobody else is in your head. Nobody else has to walk in your shoes. Others may question your decisions, but ultimately, they are yours to make. You are the protagonist of your story.
  27. People can change. Even you. Don’t give up on a family member who’s in a bad way. Life is long. They can change. And if there’s something you wish was different in your life, make it happen. Every day is a new opportunity to grow. It’s never too late.


Nik's Place

No one heard it;
the way my inflamed soul crushed
its gentle spirit
Loosed from Heaven’s cradle,
submersed in this rancid pit,
freeing roses from my grasp as I
inhale life’s constant shit
Granted breath amid the remnants
of tainted hearts and tattered loves
Sleeping still among the blackbirds,
while dreams nest between the doves
Fate has never known my heart,
desires – too small for this will, hope…
has yet to render goods worth the
balance of sorrow’s bills
Conforming child of fluid girth,
lucid mind without a voice;
maturing youth misunderstood, as
inner worlds escaped the noise;
misguided lass breached into being,
ridiculed for the light in seeing;
locked away the depth of self just
to glean conditional heeding
From a time of unconditional ceding,
a chronic mask of nod and smile; a
sacrificial traveler en route to redeeming
ankle-strapped to unyielding meanwhile
Accumulated breaking for a lifelong…

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I’m single probably too young to understand about marriage, but at least I know something about love….so as I write this I am not all so blank about partnership.

I am the kind of girl who has been in one or maybe two relationships based out of love or should we say infatuation whatever it was I loved the sensation though . Out of those relationships I learnt a couple of things that I know will help me as I keep waiting for that one person.

Well today I am onto the married women who keep on whining and complaining about their husbands and the way they have changed and how the wish they had made a better choice of either not getting married or even getting married to a better person. Sincerely this pisses me off, what makes you think that he is the cause to the miseries in your marriage?

Well, I guess before one gets married they go through the meditation process and I know it’s a critical moment since these are decisions one makes that will affect them the rest of their lives. So if you took the time to meditate and came to a sober decision why are you complaining?

Before you chose him you studied him became aware of his norms, saw what he likes and what he dislikes. You knew of his greatest addictions and looked deeper to see whether with time the addictions would fall out. You understood his happy times and his down moments and how he reacts to each of them. With all that studied, I don’t understand what makes you so mad when he does the same things now that you are married to him for over five years.

Unluckily or should I say luckily I always find myself hanging around married women. Work colleagues, my aunties, my mother and her friends; and every time there is always someone complaining about marriage and giving me that little piece of advice they always say is important “don’t get married” and if you do “don’t be in such a hurry. It is not such a happy haven”

Well, from my own view I know marriage is not all a bed of roses even for those who are in the ‘perfect marriages’ but really do we ladies have to keep complaining and putting all the blame on men. Why doesn’t always hit us that it could be something I’m doing that has made him change. I am not going start acting a marriage therapist and all that, besides I know so little about marriage but one thing is clear I have made it a point to hang around both parties (men and (women) and sincerely I have never heard men complaining about their wives or their spouses and if there is a problem they talk it out in a mature manner.

Ladies don’t get me wrong that I am for the men no, no, no they are not all perfect and maybe that’s why the married women complain a lot. But again why shouldn’t they (married women) just adopt a culture of appreciating. I am sure they (men) are not always doing all things wrong….he at times does things perfectly it wouldn’t hurt showing some appreciation.

At least create a positive attitude for we who are not yet married, even as we prepare to venture into that stage of life, we will not carry the negativity along. And if they are problems we will know how to tackle them positively and not have the mentality that once I get married to that sweet boyfriend of mine he will turn to a different person that I barely knew the three years I dated him.

Marriage is a blessed institution at least the Bible has taught me that about,. To all the married women who keep complaining please stop creating the wrong picture. And stop making it look as if it’s the greatest mistake you made.


Nik's Place

When the beginning of the end opened my eyes,
life capsized for the drowning of my soul.
Swallowed whole into the belly of darkness, this
starkness of disillusionment made me fold.
Distant and cold, I drifted through space
unlaced from the purpose of my being, not
knowing the needing in my displacement, the
torment of existence without redeeming. The
seeming overwhelmed. Meaning lost in sacrifice –
a constant price for the deeply seeded seething.
Then, seeing pierced my heart to restart
and apart fell my context for breathing.
The receiving – a reconstruction of my worth:
Love’s rebirth into eternity’s foundation.
Spirit awakened and inflamed to the core,
now adorned with joy, spitting game to nations
by way of salvation through mercy’s open door.
What’s more, with this sifting comes a granting
to hold the ranting and give the lifting – a
daily gifting of hand and hope, an expanding

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Nik's Place

Perhaps my heart will fall apart…

Each restart is a higher climb, a
broader sea for my mind to find
those pearls worth working hard for
I guess I’m here to be adored, but
can I spare another exit from my soul?

Never a part, always more than whole;
I surrender everything needed,
freely or conceded, but
unquestionably intentional…
for what is love, otherwise?

It is not wise – it is not worthy;
unequally yoked, lacking survey,
more than whims, but not infinities, a
source of strength that will destroy me
– nothing resolute.

Standing astute, I carve the edge
where charms fall short and hope is bled,
knowing that distance plays my hand
with shield and sword, nonetheless…
Life is my prison, and Faith – the ward.

This light that shines also betrays,
drawing nearer all that sways, and
though I run, there’s no escaping the
unexpected beau in…

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The Kenyans decided for it, and I am Kenyan too…but the devolution government seems to be doing more harm than help to us. Here are some of the reasons I think so…..and remember this are my thoughts you have every right to agree or disagree with me.
The proverb says “No news is great news” and I agree with that. But ever since the devolution government came into the picture, well I don’t see of a day whereby we are not hearing and seeing of bad news….. fingers to the failures of devolution government. I don’t want to be all negative about it, of course there is the positive part of it whereby the common mwananchi gets to air their views to the government. My big question comes in has this really been implemented? Is devolution bringing the Kenyan closer to the government? Is devolution government uniting the Kenyans or making the Kenyans drift more apart from each other? Well, I can’t really answer that…I leave that to you.
As I sit and think about devolution my mind revolves about my current position…. as stated earlier I am just a recent graduate who is trying so hard to at least land myself a job whether paid or not the important thing to me right now is to be of service to my country. It’s sad to say that devolution has in some point made it difficult for us “we” the job seekers. You may ask yourself why I say so and why should I blame the devolution government. The government may not be all so faulty but who do I blame? For example if an institution fails to deliver in the expected way those blamed are the top managers…. So now my blame will still lie on those heading the devolution government…our governors who are heading the counties and senators.
Our counties have become the hub of tribalism…so sad…nepotism even sadder. If you are not from my county I don’t think you are suitable to offer service in my county despite the fact you hold all the requirement and qualifications. In some other counties they go to the extent of having unqualified people to handle county offices and affairs. Despite having equal resources directed to almost all the counties in the country most are still lagging behind in terms of development. If you look deeper into why these counties are failing….it adds up to one thing mismanagement right from the top. Employment of unqualified staff, tribal lines set even in the offices, nepotism climaxes it all.
Currently I am in a particular county (no names mentioned) and getting anywhere near a county job is a dream so I decide to go back to my county and try my luck over there. It’s my county cause that’s where I call home but still it’s not the county I was brought up in…but in Kenya I Shouldn’t worry about that. Our fore fathers fought for our independence so that we could maneuver freely in our country so full of pride. Anyway greatest shock hits me when I go applying for a job in my county, nobody knows me and I wonder should I be known. Somebody hints it to me that to get a job in the county offices you have to know people who know people. I wonder why I should be know people who know people and why should I be known. My application and qualifications should best define me and whether I am appropriate for the job or not. We have to agree this the devolution government is what we the Kenyans wanted. Most of us didn’t understand what was in place for us. I am sure I am not the only one who has something to say about devolution government. Services in government key institutions is slowly deteriorating not because we the Kenyans want so but a lot of factors are pushing it to such kind of state…..lack of payments to the employees, lack of qualified people, lack of improved machinery and a whole lot more that the county government overlooks yet what is being overlooked is what matters to the Kenyan.
The same way the majimbo kind of government failed is the same way county government is facing failure unless something is done. The road to solving this matter is treating everyone as a Kenya cause I believe the whole of Kenya is ours!!!!

“Analyze This…”

reading between the lines……awesome piece

Nik's Place

Two words my mentality will never dismiss;
from the twist in the tragedy, to the
depth of the bliss, to the
tremble and the breath at the edge of a kiss.
I exist in this head;
know the bite of its blade,
ride the curve of its arc, while I
bask in its shade.
Every moment that lives –
replay the end to the start;
a sliding scale of B-Sharp that
falls off at the heart.
Oh, and there won’t be trust;
ledger’s full, ink is dry,
etching each of the truths
which fed my soul lies.
No flow can exist behind the
pain in these eyes, for as
lips murmur love, the
deeds call out spies, and
the whispers they share
dam up nature’s rise ’til
fertility’s numb and free-spirit is wise.
Wearing no more than the
face I’ve been given.
Knowing no more than the
weight I’ve been…

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The year is 2015 the year which I complete my undergraduate studies. I am very excited being a degree holder at 22 years old, that’s quite an achievement and I’m so proud of myself. What excites me most is the notion that I will no longer be termed as a broke college student trying to make it through. (I don’t understand why one has to be so broke when you in college, the cash is never enough despite being a beneficiary of the government loans). And the thought of getting a job or something to keep me busy is what is running through my mind. Not at one point did it hit me my first job out there will be a job where I self-employ myself in being a job seeker.

I know I’m not alone in this every fresh graduate dreams of getting their certificate and boom! Land a well-paying job ASAP. Well, I guess that only happens in our minds cause the hardest thing that I have come to terms with this past one month since I completed school is that looking for a job is one of the hardest and most frustrating thing. No company wishes to employ you worse still nobody seems interested to pick you as in intern too. All these got me thinking or I’m I searching the wrong places? Having to spend the little cash I make in offside jobs for fare to places I so wish to work and making endless calls in the name of following up…..whew! It’s quite a hustle I now understand why all who graduated ahead of me kept saying it isn’t all that easy.

Well what next when the hunting gets tough we innovate other ways to still make sure our dreams and hard work don’t go down the drain. I can as well employ myself and that’s when it hit me I studied to be something, I got the knowledge why not combine that and start something of my own as small as it is. And know I’m confidently on the path of offering consultancy in my field of specialty biotechnology and through that each and every day I’m meeting new people in that field and with their help able to learn more in the field.

It isn’t easy being a student i9n college and again isn’t easy being a recent graduate too. But again as someone said it’s a world of survival for the fittest.

Hello world!

dorinfaiththougtscount is a platform where i open up to the world on my thoughts and a show of how they matter and how they matter to others. this platform opens a tunnel whereby we can share our thoughts and how they matter and how they count. welcome you all